Feb 12, 2012
Attention to all readers!
There will be a massive destruction tomorrow on valentine's day. An earthquake will strike through all parts of the world with a magnitude of 69! Take note 69 not 6.9, with PERIOD! That's fuckin' not cool! Shocking! Beds will rock and break so don't go under your beds babies. Happy Valentine's Day!
*The news stated above is a half fact and a mere imagination of what will happen tomorrow. LOL
Well, the history of Valentine's Day--and the story of its patron saint--is shrouded in mystery. We do know that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and that St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. But who was Saint Valentine, and how did he become associated with this ancient rite?
The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first "valentine" greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl--possibly his jailor's daughter--who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed "From your Valentine," an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and--most importantly--romantic figure. By the Middle Ages, perhaps thanks to this reputation, Valentine would become one of the most popular saints in England and France.
February is the Love Month, the time to celebrate the Valentine's Day and celebrating with your special someone. Some are searching for a partner and someone to date with, but before going anywhere or celebrate it, dont forget to bring this to add up a spice in your dates here are some jokes to chill up and make your partner happy even for just a day.
Question and Answer Valentine Jokes
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and we'll go places!
A: Stick with me and we'll go places!
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.
A: You turn me on.
Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A: No, but they had an Apple.
A: No, but they had an Apple.
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
Knock, Knock,
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.
A: Because it couldn't get a date.
Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear
A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear
Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
A: A stamp.
A: A stamp.
Q: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?
A: You get buttered up.
A: You get buttered up.
Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
A: His ghoul-friend.
A: His ghoul-friend.
Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?
A: Antelope.
A: Antelope.
Tips for Men on Valentine's Day:
Valentine's can be a very daunting day for couples, especially men. If you are having trouble trying to figure out what your lady wants this holiday, here are a few suggestions.
1.) Women like creativity. Whatever you choose to do for each other on this day of love, take this into consideration. You do not have to spend a lot of money, to show your signifigant other your true feelings for her. Take her to a place that is special exclusively for the two of you.
2.) Gift ideas should inspire love, true feelings, and romance. Each woman is different so this is in no way a commandment, but as a rule, please choose to give her practical gifts on another day. For example, please give her that new blender on another day of the week.
3.) Gifts should not be selfish in nature. To make this more clear, do not use this as a time for you to go out and buy a gift you both think you might. A new television for the bedroom, might be okay next month, but might not inspire the response you hoped for.
4.) Chocolates and roses are nice and beautiful, but she might enjoy and be surprised by a change of pace, or deviation in the romantic agenda. So do not be afraid to get creative, and walk a little on the wild side, so to speak.
5.) Do something for her that takes real sacrifice for you like attend the ballet, or an opera performance. Attend a really romantic albeit cheesy movie. An example of this type of film, would be the upcoming romantic drama, "The Vow." Early reviews have compared it to the romantic blockbuster, "The Notebook" Notebook."
6.) Make the day or night, just simply for the two of you. Leave the sports scores and buddies at home for the night. Tomorrow can be for ordinary things and people. Arrange a babysitter for the kids you might have.
Tips for Women on Valentine's Day:
Valentine's Day is often celebrated for women by men. The man takes you to the fancy French restaurant, and gives you the diamond tennis bracelet that you said you wanted two months ago. What does the man get? A kiss, maybe more, but often presents in the traditional sense of the word is usually off the table.
Love is meant for both men and women, and so is this love-filled holiday. So, here are some tips to make the day special for the special the man in your life as well.
Love is meant for both men and women, and so is this love-filled holiday. So, here are some tips to make the day special for the special the man in your life as well.
1.) Guys as a ruLe are much more casual than women about dates in general. Make your guy his favorite foods. Remember, after a hard day's work, guys often relax by being somewhat of a couch potato. Do not ride him too hard. If you let him watch him the basketball game, he might be more willing to be more romantic in nature.
2.) If you have to watch the romantic movie, then make it a double feature. Let him watch the action-filled blockbuster, and then he will be more willing the sappy, over-the-top romantic drama.3.) Buy him a gift. He loves and supports you, he deserves one too. You can buy him the practical gift that you would never want. He actually might want the flat screen television that you think is not appropriate for this most sacred holiday. Buy him the X-Box or the video game, it's okay he wants you too.
4.) Plan an event that he actually likes to do, like hiking, dirt biking, wall climbing, or anything else he might like. Attend a sporting event with him, they can be fun, and he will think that you care about him, which he will think is very romantic.
5.) Guys in general, communicate very well through physical touch, keep that in mind on this day especially.
Happy Valentine's Day to everyone out there! I hope that is filled with fun and some sort of love for everyone.
I hope your day will turn out good :)
Again, on behalf of Vermillion Eyes, Happy Valentine's Day! :)
-[VE] milo.
